Archive for the ‘This Week in Bacon’ Category

This Week in Bacon: Booze! The Final Chapter

December 23, 2009

After three weeks of waiting and dreaming, the Bacon Vodka is finished. It has been strained and filtered, it has been bottled.

And it has been tasted.

It’s good. I mean really good.

It’s a subtle, smokey, baconey flavor with just mild hints of the black peppercorn.

Considering I think regular vodka tastes like lighter fluid, that says a lot.

So it goes without saying, the next logical step was to refine my Bloody Mary recipe to ensure Christmas morn is spent enjoying the greatest breakfast cocktail…ever.

After some trial and error, I think I’ve got it.

The Bloody Bacon

Fill a pint glass with ice. Grind some black pepper and shake some celery salt over the cubes and set it aside for a country second.

In a shaker, add:

• 6 oz vegetable juice

• 2 teaspoons fresh lime juice

• 4-10 shakes of Tabasco, depending on your tastes…I opted for 12.

• 6 Dashes Worcestershire sauce

• A generous pinch of garlic powder

• A fat-fingered pinch of onion powder

• 2 big pinches of celery salt

• Copious amounts of black pepper

• A shake of cayenne pepper

• A shake of chipotle

• 1/2 teaspoon horseradish

• 1/2 teaspoon wasabi

• 1 ounce beef broth

• 2 shots of Bacon Vodka..I opted for 3.

Shake, then pour over the ice.

I garnished it with fresh cooked bacon, roasted red pepper-stuffed green olives and a wedge of lime.

It is, quite possibly, the greatest Bloody Mary I’ve ever tasted.

This Week in Bacon: Booze! Pt. 3

December 22, 2009

A Quick Update on the Bacon Vodka

The Vodka has been removed from its dark hiding place after three weeks of mingling with the bacon and peppercorn.

The next step was the freezer, to help the liquor separate from the bacon fat and pepper.

Then I began the straining and filtering process.

I poured the sweet nectar of the gods through a coffee filter-lined strainer, then put it back in the freezer.

Rinse and repeat.

Currently, she’s back in the freezer for the night.

I’ll repeat the process tomorrow a few more times, then we move on to the fun part—refining the Bloody Bacon recipe.

It may take a few tries, but I’m willing to make the sacrifice…for you.

Come Christmas morn I’ll be sipping on the world’s greatest Bloody Mary.

More to come.

This Week in Bacon: Booze! Pt. 2

December 3, 2009

Just a quick update…

The bacon has been made (I was sure to make a few extra pieces to eat)

Vodka and bacon are now in a jar, getting to know each other a little better.

I added a little black peppercorn before sealing the lid tight.

Do not open until Christmas.

This Week in Bacon: Booze! Pt. 1

December 3, 2009

I love Bloody Marys.

Almost as much as Whiskey Sours.

It’s the breakfast of champions, complete with all the nutrients and vitamins your mother hopes you’re getting, now that she’s not there to provide you with something hearty in the morning.

So when I heard there was a bacon-infused vodka, well, I got a tingly feeling from head to toe.

Then I remembered: I’m unemployed, and fairly broke.

Now it’s true, the less money I have, the more I need to drink—it’s a twisted irony of life.

Unemployed=bottom shelf liquor in plastic bottles.

I thought about asking for some as a Christmas gift, but every time I ask my family for hard liquor as a present, be it my birthday, Easter or Arbor Day, they get a sad look on their faces, shaking their heads solemnly while considering a holiday intervention.

But I will not let these trying economic times mess with my cocktail hour.

I’ve always been a believer that anything that can be done, can be done better at home.

I don’t buy sour mixes for my whiskey, I don’t purchase Mr. & Mrs. T for my bloodies.

If you want something done right, do it your own damned self.

That’s how I roll.

So I’m going to make my own.

Watch this blog in the coming weeks as I chart my progress…More to come.

(Retro)spect: This Week in Bacon

November 21, 2009

There were a lot of things wrong with the world back in the 70’s and 80’s

Leisure wear


Hair Metal



Tight-rolled jeans


Mall Hair

Side Spikes


Wine Coolers

Topsiders with no socks

Joanie Loves Chachi…

…I could go on for days…

But there was one offense greater than most.

They posed a question to us:

Why sizzle fat when you can Sizzlean?


I’ll tell you why. Because bacon is quite frankly, the best food ever.

Eating Sizzlean (or Facon, as I like to call it) is like eating a tofu burger and hoping it tastes like the real thing—just eat the damned burger, folks.


It’s like Beggin Strips for people.


And trust me…you should NEVER eat Beggin Strips…They (like Sizzlean) do not, I repeat, DO NOT taste like bacon.


June 13, 2009

We’re hosting a brunch this morning for our friends. We’ve all been friends for well over 15 years now…

We used to hang out at bars…every weekend…a few of us still do, but a great many of them now have (multiple) kids…so bar-hopping is kind of extinct, aside from those (very few) instances invlolving a baby-sitter…

So now we brunch…rotating from house to house each time…we’ve gone from smokey, late-night binge drinking to children friendly breakfasts…

I’m not complaining…I love me some bacon.

And this isn’t about where we used to go…this is about today.

Today is our turn to host, and I am treating my friends to bacon wrapped scotch eggs as my contribution…

Last brunch, I brought over a bacon log…people love bacon…it’s true.

I’ve never made Scotch Eggs before, I’m still learning how to make full use of my deep fryer…So last week I did a practice run…


it’s true…I made a scotch egg smiley face with an elitist spicy mustard nose…

Hope they turn out as good today.

The Quest for the Perfect Burger

June 3, 2009

I’m a man who loves his bacon…and his burgers….

I decided that this is the summer of grilling…more to wit…this is the summer I create the perfect burger…

I think I came pretty damned close tonight…

I dub thee the Sunshine Burger…(named for its South City locale)…

Step 1…I diced my preferred burger ingredients…swiss cheese, mushrooms, onion…then I added blue cheese crumbles, some worcester sauce, some herbs and spices including (but not limited to) garlic, pepper, cayenne pepper and a little sea salt…and a little butter…I mixed it with the beef, then formed my patties…

and here’s where it gets good…

At this point, you pull out the bacon…and weave it…Then place the patty in the center of the bacon basket….

Step 3, wrap the bacon basket around the burger…

wrap the burger

Step 4…grill it, baby…maybe toast some buns if you aren’t a lazy bastard…

grill the meat

Step 5…Let the Sunshine in…

the Cadillac of Burgers

Every bite was an explosion of flavor…it needed no condiments…It was, hands down, the best burger I’ve ever eaten…and I’ve eaten a crapload (literally) of burgers in my time…it was…a burgasm.

Next time, I’m going to add some slaw and fried onions on top…

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go have that heart attack…