Fondly: Until he didn’t.

fndlygrphc

He usually felt fine.

 

Until he didn’t.

 

It never came for a good reason…usually it was just a matter of too much at once. He’d hit a wall.

 

It was rarely spawned from something tragic, or nefarious, just too much to do, with nowhere near enough time. The more he had to do, the closer he came to shutting down completely, incapable of even the most simple of tasks.

 

He’d begin to feel like a failure. Which lead him to think about past failures, reviewing the tape, as it were, like a quarterback on Monday. Trying to figure out what he was doing wrong.

 

Then, he would spiral.

 

The past would continue biting him in the ass as the future loomed heavy, just another, larger deadline he was going to have to meet eventually.

 

Then he would give up.

 

And accept responsibility for all the wrongs in the world, which he somehow felt were his fault.

 

Suddenly, he was worthless, useless, wrong on every level. Answering the phone or mail brought about an unnatural anxiety, and eye contact was impossible, even with his own pale reflection in the mirror.

 

All he wanted to do was sleep, but he never could.

 

Then, all he would feel was emptiness.

 

Until he didn’t.

mtchmid

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2 Responses to “Fondly: Until he didn’t.”

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