Fondly: Snow Day Pt. 1

fndlygrphc

It was cold. Freezing in fact. The entire city was shut down by virtue of ice and snow. I opted to work from home.

Then I opted to not work from home.

I couldn’t concentrate anyway. I needed to see her. Talk to her. Hold her.

I sat quietly, TV off, no music permeating my little bungalow.

I still felt numb, dead inside. Alone. This was love, and it didn’t consist of fireworks so much as bombs, constantly dropping.

I sighed and smoked the next link in a chain of cigarettes. The world seemed as gray as it looked, overcast and cold, and I couldn’t help but wonder if every choice I’d made to this point was the wrong one. You’d think I’d be in a slightly better frame of mind if I had made at least one good one in all that time.

She made me feel desperate. For the first time in a long time, if ever, I allowed myself to fall in love. I took everything I had in this world, and cast it all aside for her.

For us.

But then the bombs were dropped, and suddenly I began to feel foolish. I was scared. Of the road ahead, and the trail I left behind. I wasn’t prepared to have myself as a roommate.

So I sat and mourned my life, all the while trying to will her back into it.

I probably should have let the story end there, her final words still ringing in my head like tinnitus.

But this was love, and I was its prisoner.

I would have done what I always do; start drinking, but, the cupboards were bare, and there was no way in hell I was leaving the house for anything.

Then I got a text.

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One Response to “Fondly: Snow Day Pt. 1”

  1. Phil Says:

    “I still felt numb, dead inside. Alone. This was love, and it didn’t consist of fireworks so much as bombs, constantly dropping”
    Marcus you capture how I feel so often in your writing I sometimes wonder if we share the same brain. We’ve at least shared similar experiences. Keep writing friend. I’ll keep reading

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