Ain’t No Right


The world has gotten so lazy…So regrettably devoid of new ideas…

It would seem everyone is going for the fast, easy buck. The insta-celeb mentality has taken over pretty much every vocation from here to eternity.

I’m most troubled by the writers. We’re supposed to be the creative ones—the minds above the masses…We’re supposed to be part of the cultural compass, not mere navigators in the water.

Yet here, in this the most noble of creative paths, laziness and formula win out, just as reality shows topple over the sitcoms like a juggernaut wired on redbulls and meth.

And I’m not talking about those mind numbing series of children’s books about angst ridden teen vampires and snotty British wizards that far too many adults are reading in lieu of adult fiction…

It’s the remakes and unauthorized sequels…

Let’s start with television…that evil box that constantly calls to me from the other room with promises of mind numbing déjà vu.

I should have followed Ned’s Atomic Dustbin’s advice and killed my television, but instead I have to fall witness to the new 90210

Didn’t anyone learn from Saved By the Bell: the Next Class? I hear they’re remaking Melrose Place, next.

They weren’t that great the first time around, why would they be any better this time? Come on SAG writers…you’re better than this…make something up…be creative…or quit your day job so better people can step in.

Then there are the movies. These writers gave up a long, long time ago, remaking anything and everything…Psycho was a mess and I’m still pissed off about Planet of the Apes. So help me god, if they remake the Warriors, someone’s ass will be kicked.

But what really troubles me, more than the movie and television hacks, are the authors who are following this horrible and disturbing trend…

Stop making sequels to other people’s books. Hijacking an author’s characters is like kidnapping their child and doing inappropriate things to them. This is someone’s creation, and to feel you have the right to decide someone else’s character’s fate is a little self centered…

Let’s start with some of the worst offenders, Lee Nelson, Greg Matthews and Jon Clinch, each of whom saw fit to jump on perhaps the most famed, revered and iconic American author in the history of time’s coat tails—Mark Twain.

First and foremost, there’s Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer Among the Indians…this book was started by Twain, but never finished before his death. So Lee Nelson decides he has the right to do it for him. It’s horrible, and wrong. The worst offense being the ultimate fates left for Tom, Huck and Jim…

Mark Twain would have never written anything that is so clearly intended to promote the Mormon agenda. He had nothing but disdain for the Latter Day Saints (LDS)…they were the Scientologists of their time… And Nelson has Tom Sawyer converting to Mormonism because it’s the “first religious book that he’s read that’s made sense.”

That alone is blasphemous enough to prove my point. Nelson did the exact opposite of what Twain would have wanted…


And then there’s The Further Adventures of Huck Finn, by Greg Matthews…because Greg, like Nelson, apparently, was incapable of coming up with his own characters, latching on, instead, to someone else’s already popular body of work.

And then, of course, there’s the widely celebrated novel Finn, by Jon Clinch. Again, the author hijacks one of Twain’s characters, and develops him as he sees fit…

Now, I’m not opposed to sequels, per se, if they’re written by the original author…I loved the Graduate, by Charles Webb

The sequel, Home School, isn’t quite the same lofty accomplishment, but it’s Mr. Webb’s choice, and right to revisit those characters…they’re his creation.

And there’s the recent phenom, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Seth Graham-Smith…hey, let’s take a classic, then add zombies…people like zombies…zombies are cool, right? Shawn of the Dead was successful, right? World War Z sold well…

I have to cry bullshit. Smith is an opportunist, at best, though more likely, just a talentless hack…

And then today, I read this little gem in the Guardian UK:

Catcher in the Rye sequel published, but not by Salinger
Holden Caulfield returns
in an unauthorized sequel by debut novelist

Salinger isn’t even dead, and some douchebag asshole writer hack named John David California has written a book called 60 Years Later: Coming Through the Rye

This is so wrong on so many levels…Who is he to decide what happened to an icon for the dissatisfied youth?

Stuart Evers puts it best, in this piece, also via the Guardian…

60 Years Later Coming Through the Rye might be brilliant. It could be that missing Salinger novel that so many people have craved. Or it might be a flimsy, cheap, attention-seeking piece of opportunistic schlock clinging with whitened knuckles to the coattails of literary greatness. Either way – and I think we’ve all got a pretty good idea of how it’s likely to turn out – I think Holden would appreciate the irony of there now being a phoney Caulfield in the literary universe …


Okay, I’ll quit my ranting now…


Tags: , , , , , , , ,

4 Responses to “Ain’t No Right”

  1. Ain’t No Right: an Update… « Viciousblog’s Weblog Says:

    […] month I climbed up on my soapbox to wax angrily about lazy authors hacks who make sequels to other author’s books, or as I like to say, coldplayed great […]

  2. Aint No Right: the Verdict is In… « Viciousblog’s Weblog Says:

    […] won’t be coldplayed…not […]

  3. PlalpCips Says:

    Your blog is so interesting! I have subscribed on rss and I will read it regullary/

  4. pefogezon Says:

    Very interesting blog! Subscribed on rss. Regular will read it

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: